Mother’s Day: Grief and Joy

May 12, 2013 § 1 Comment

Today was a happy Mother’s Day. We had brunch at home, played together outside with Nathaniel and our dog Higgins, and I dabbled in oil painting while my guys napped. We all watched a movie together while I finished some knitting. The day was wonderful, especially on the heels of a huge birthday party for Nathaniel the day before.

Mother’s Day hasn’t always been a happy holiday. I cried through the holiday the last three years.
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The non-Grief of Special Needs Adoption

April 5, 2013 § 5 Comments

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We don’t fit in. Ben and I are special needs parents by choice. It wasn’t forced upon us by birth, sickness, or congenital abnormality. We don’t fit the stereotype. From reading many stories and knowing people personally who were surprised to learn of their child’s disability, there is a process of grief and coming to terms with their child’s disability.

Many people will ask me if parenting Nathaniel is “hard” or if I grieve his disability. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Sacred Story of Nathaniel’s Life

March 21, 2013 § 3 Comments

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Baby Nathaniel, June 2008

When first meeting someone, there are a number of people forward enough to ask what Nathaniel’s history is before his adoption. We do stick out as an interracial adoptive family so I can understand the curiosity. However, I guard his life story as a sacred treasure.

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The Adoption Transition to Parenting: Bed Sharing

March 19, 2013 § 4 Comments

Our first kid was 5 years old when we became parents. Obviously, this isn’t typical and so we had to do some not-so-typical parenting. Here is one of our experiences from transitioning to being parents:

Ben and I had initially talked about whether we would want to share our bed with our future child. Initially, we had the image of a baby. This then implies that you need to do night feedings, sleep training, worry about the safety of sharing bed together, and get the child used to sleeping in their own bed. Adoption an older child with special needs turned that idea upside down. « Read the rest of this entry »

Brokenness Behind the “Perfect” Life

March 18, 2013 § 7 Comments

Growing up, I was often told what a great “perfect” life I had. I had parents who were married and loved each other. My brother and I got along. I was told I was pretty and I did well in school. I completed my “dream” of being a nurse and married a great guy. We adopted a wonderful son who we adore. I am literally living my dream of working in Africa.

You may have concluded some of these thoughts by reading this blog for any amount of time. As with any outside view, you are only seeing one perspective. You don’t know the private pains or the hidden secrets of the heart. My life is far from perfect. You don’t know the argument I had with my husband or the way I was impatient with my son. You were not around when I was unkind to my friend and was selfish about something else.

The truth is that even as you’re reading about our “perfect” life there is pain, hurt, sin, and grief that only God knows.

Our journey of infertility has shaped me more than anything else in my adult life. « Read the rest of this entry »

The Adoption Transition to Parenting: Learning English and Signing Time videos

March 11, 2013 § 2 Comments

Our first kid was 5 years old when we became parents. Obviously, this isn’t typical and so we had to do some not-so-typical parenting. Here is one of our experiences from transitioning to being parents:

When Nathaniel came home in June of last year, he spoke very little English and we spoke very little Nyanja. As you can probably hear from the videos I have posted, his English has improved tremendously. One of the things I credit this to is his Signing Time videos. « Read the rest of this entry »

My Role as a Woman (in Honor of International Women’s Day)

March 8, 2013 § 5 Comments

Today we celebrate International Women’s Day as a national public holiday here in Zambia.

Since becoming a mother last June, I have been contemplating my role as woman and what that means for my identity, my family, and my work.

Growing up, my Dad was the sole breadwinner and my Mom worked to take care of our home. She home-schooled my brother and I through high school. I’m forever grateful to both my parents for their sacrifices for my education, well-being, and spiritual upbringing.

I had my own ideas about what being a woman would look like, which in my mind was the same as being a mother. « Read the rest of this entry »

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